Love letters
by guiltyashell
Summary: Triumph written on his face, a box in his hands as he walked over to her. Not any box. The box filled with Jane's letters [...] "Those aren't loveletters. Please Marcus, just let it go..."
1. Chapter 1

**Hey here I am again with a new story this time... One of the very kind people who left reviews and made me super happy gave me an idea for a new story. So thank you **bones35 **:)**

**I also wanna thank my amazing friend Suyu who is now officially my editor, because I still make a lot of mistakes and I don't manage to correct them so she took over that job and I am very grateful for that. So enough with the speech. have a good read ;)**

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Lisbon and Pike were sitting on her couch. Looking at family pictures he had brought with him.

"I will never forgive my mom for cutting my hair that summer. She can do a lot of things, but cutting hair is not one of them!" He laughed while looking at a picture of his twelve year old self grinning into the camera, spikes of hair standing in every direction, obviously not cut by a professional.

She joined his laughter leaning into him and showing him her favorite picture so far.

It showed him swirling his sister around. Both of them wearing goofy grins on their faces. "You look so happy," she murmured, tapping on the photograph.

Pike smiled down at her. "How come I haven't seen any pictures of you?"

She frowned at him. "I'm pretty sure you've seen pictures of me..." He shook his head "No I mean childhood pictures..." Lisbon froze in his arms, not knowing how to respond to that. " I don't have any..." She lied. She did have photos of the early days, when her mother had still been alive and the Lisbons had been a happy family, but looking at her caused her pain and she hadn't in over a year.

"I don't believe you." He chuckled and tried to tickle her, he still hadn't realized she wasn't ticklish. There was only one spot on her back that was extremely sensitive and ticklish, but she was pretty sure no one other than Jane knew that. "You're probably just embarrassed about them, huh?" He teased. Oblivious to the pain in her expression. Not knowing about her history, not realizing the old wounds he was reopening.

Then suddenly he got up, so suddenly that Lisbon almost fell off the couch, holding onto the armrest in the last second.

He walked over to one of her cupboards, opening its doors, hands roaming the shelf until he found what he was looking for.

Triumph written on his face, a box in his hands as he walked over to her. Not any box. The box filled with Jane's letters. Lisbon stood up and tried to grab it from him, but he moved to the side and ran behind the couch, preventing her from reaching him.

"This sure looks like something where one would keep photos doesn't it?" He grinned, not noticing the clear panic on her face when he lifted the lid.

"Oh well look at this. Those look like love letters..." He teased taking one out of the box.

"Those aren't love letters. Please Marcus, just let it go..."

But of course he didn't. She couldn't blame him, she had persuaded him into opening a second bottle of wine and it was clearly getting to him, otherwise he would've respected her wishes and already noticed how uncomfortable he was making her.

Helpless, she watched as he unfolded the letter, holding it up to read it.

_Dear Teresa, _Oh no she knew that letter, had read it over and over again during one of the many lonely nights. It was the only time he had addressed her as Teresa in his letters and she was pretty sure that he hadn't been sober while bringing those lines to paper.

Lisbon was startled out of her thoughts as her boyfriend continued reading, silly grin firmly placed on his lips, not yet knowing who that letter was from, whose words he was reciting.

_The air is so hot and thick here I am having trouble breathing and yet I am enjoying the heat. I wish you were here to witness all this for yourself, but most of all I want you here for me._

_I am so lonely. I always have been, but the loss of your presence by my side has left a hole that I know I am unable to fill. With increasing frequency I find myself turning around to point things out to you only to remember that I am on my own. In the mornings my hand reaches for yours, only to find my sheets are empty beside me. I even make you coffee sometimes, too late realizing that you are probably still asleep._

"Wow this guy sure knows how to write huh?" Pike throws in, looking at her.

Only then he sees the tears in her eyes, the distress radiating off her body.

"Oh god Teresa." he whispers, moving closer. Guilt covering his face. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to..." He looks between her and the letter, when his eyes close in on something.

Not only something... but the signature on the bottom of the letter. _Patrick_

"Wait, is this from Jane?" He asks, disbelief in his voice.

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**TBC**

**Soooo how'd you like it? Review please? It would make me happy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so so sorry guys. I know it's been a long time and I've kept you hanging and I feel super bad about it, but I just couldn't for the life of me write the next chapter... I don't know what happened, call it writers block... whatever. I am sorry though and I hope you're still reading this story and like this chapter.**

**For all of those who reviewed WOW I can not thank you enough! Actual tears of joy filled my eyes and I am so grateful for all your kind words!**

**And a shout out to the lovely Suyu who is the most amazing person and edited this for me**

**Disclaimer: The Mentalist or it's characters does not belong to me only this story does...**

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Lisbon swallowed and nodded. Then she reached out and took the letter from his hand, carefully folding it and laying it back into the box, before putting the lid on top of it.

"Yes, those are from Jane. Like I said they're not love letters. They're from when he was hiding from the FBI." She explained a bit harshly.

She walked to her cupboard and put the box back inside. When she turned around Pike was standing behind her, not too close, but still giving her no way to walk away from him.

"I know a love letter when I read one." He muttered. "I mean I knew you two were close, but you never mentioned that you were in a relatio..."

She cut him off "... We were never in a relationship." The brunette bit her lip at the regret that was evident in her tone.

He cocked his head to one side. Confusion written on his face "Why not?"

"Excuse me?" Lisbon was tired and on edge and she didn't want to talk about Jane, especially not with Marcus.

"Why were you not together? I mean…"

She looked at him, disbelief written all over her face. Was he serious?

"I mean, I get the whole Red John part, Jane's not stupid enough to put you at risk like that, but afterwards? He's been back for almost a year now, so why...?"

She frowned at him. "What do you want me to say? Why I'm not in a relationship with another man? Is that really something you wanna talk about?" Lisbon was annoyed now. Why couldn't he just leave this alone.

"Yes because I need to know if my girlfriend is in love with that other man." He seemed angry and for a second Lisbon was surprised. She'd never seen him angry before.

"For God's sake Marcus, I'm here with you aren't I?" She could feel the beginning of a headache tingling on her scalp and resisted the urge to put a hand to her forehead.

"That's not enough." Pike said sadly.

"Then what is? What do you want from me?" She yelled, not being able to restrain her frustration any longer.

"I want you to want to be here." He spat.

"I do want to be here, otherwise I wouldn't be."

"But you don't want to be here with me." He countered.

"That's ridiculous. Are you a mindreader now? How do you want to know what I want? You DON'T know!" She was getting angrier with every second that passed.

"That's exactly my point. I should know what you want. I should know what you need, but I don't and he does and that's the reason why I cannot possibly be what you want Teresa." His breathing was ragged and they both stared at each other as a heavy silence surrounded them.

Lisbon began to speak, her voice soft but laced with irritation and fatigue. "I am so tired of people making decisions for me, of people moving me like a piece in a chess game. I am a person. I have my own opinion and I'm damn capable of voicing it if I want to. If I say this is what I want, you should accept that and stop trying to analyze me."

Pike's gaze softened and he reached out as if he wanted to touch her, but seemed to think better of it, dropping his hand. "I know that Teresa, and I'm not trying to make decisions for you, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. You mean a lot to me and I can't afford to let myself jump in this if I'll end up with my heart broken. At first everything seemed so safe with you, but then there's Jane and there will always be Jane and I can't live like that, I can't love like that with one foot out of the door, because it's hard to know where we stand.

I think that for you Jane comes first, he will always come first and that's okay. I won't blame you for the way you feel because that would be unfair and I realize that there is this whole history between you and Patrick and a sort of connection that is simply too strong to be broken, but can you look me in the eye and tell me you don't love him?"

His desperate look made her heart clench and she wanted to say the words, she really did, but she knew she couldn't. That didn't stop her from trying of course " I... I don't..." but Lisbon couldn't bring herself to say it, because they both knew it wouldn't be true.

A lonely tear made its way down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away.

Marcus offered her a tight lipped, sad smile. "That's what I thought. I think you'll understand that I don't want to have a relationship like that. We both deserve better and I really hope you'll be happy Teresa, but this is it for me."

She nodded, holding back a sob. She may love Jane, but she cared about Marcus and breaking up sucked.

"Goodbye Teresa" He whispered, then he stepped closer and kissed her on the cheek " It has been a pleasure knowing you."

"Goodbye Marcus" She whispered back as she watched him leave.

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**I hope you liked it... Let me know what you think :)  
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